i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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