i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
