Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
