Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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