I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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