Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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