Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
