the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize