We're like a lot better than the average bears
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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