Dual....:-)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize