You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
