Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
