he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
