I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
