If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
