My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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