i barfeds in our rink
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
