Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
