I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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