Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize