he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
