Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
only if we run a train.
done.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
