so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
