it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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