Screwed.edu
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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