Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize