BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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