i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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