i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
