I molested 6 butterflies tonight
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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