Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Bring me that man meat
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize