WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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