Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
