i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize