He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
