I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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