I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
