I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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