WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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