I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
