...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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