I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
