I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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