then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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