my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
