New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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