It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
