I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
