fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
