The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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