i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
