if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
