her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
