i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
