$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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