Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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