Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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