they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
