I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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