Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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