Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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