Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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