You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
