my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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