New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need water and some morals
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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