I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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