I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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