just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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