I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
