hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize