Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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