She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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