i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My vagina is very pro this idea
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
