im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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