do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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