i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
