We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
