the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
