I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
someone owes me an orgasm
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize