sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she looked like the before picture.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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